entertainment television creature feature San Guinary horror television show comedy horror creature feature tv
Dr. San Guinary
Doc has his lab deep beneath the haunted schoolhouse in the idyllic Village of Nehawka. That's where he carries out his strange experiments, launches his get-rich-schemes, and hides out from various torch-and-pitchfork-carrying villagers. He's old (incredibly old), cranky, broke, and out-of-touch, but loves animals and truly does have a heart of gold (or, at least, tarnished tinfoil). You never know what weird science, half-baked plot, or just general stupidity he'll get up to next!
Check out Doc’s Facebook fan page here!
Nurse Lacee is Doc's chief enforcer...err, chief helper. She's surly, sneaky, and smart. She's just as confident whether she has a test tube in her hand or a fifth of bourbon and, sometimes, one in each. She's summoned a demon, raised the dead, and got accepted to Warthogs School of Witchcraft & Transmission Repair.
She just isn't happy that she was placed in Pufflehuff.
Check out Nurse Lacee’s Facebook fan page here!
Nurse Shelby is, well, let's be blunt...an airhead. She's quick-witted, funny, and a good nurse, but she's still an airhead. That being said, she sure does out-think Doc an awful lot...
Check Out Nurse Shelby's
Facebook fan page here!
Nurse in Black
The Nurse In Black is an enigma wrapped in a mystery, and then poured into a nurses uniform. She doesn't come around much (usually working the night shift) but when she does, watch out! She's got a heart bigger than Doc's head, and curves in places most people don't even have places!
Check out the Nurse In Black’s Facebook fan page here!
Otis The Kritter Gitter
Otis is the leading citizen and resident of the trailer park just down the hill from the lab. He is an industrious sort, supplementing his main income (Varmint Bustin') with a variety of odd sidelines, like Woofman Wranglin', Reality TV Starrin', Lab Paintin', Illegal Energy Drink Manufacturin', and Advanced Astrophysics. Wait, one of those doesn't sound right...
Check out Otis' Facebook fan page here!
Many years ago, Doc found a cute little ball of fluff on his doorstep. Being an animal lover, Doc brought the abandoned little thing into his home (probably to fatten up for eating). Almost overnight, that adorable little fuzzball grew up to become Larry The Woofman. Half-man, half-woof, all lazy, Larry hangs out playing video games, drinking highly caffeinated beverages, and bumming quarters off Doc for trips to the corner convenience store.
He is allergic to employment. It's true. Put a job close to him and he breaks out in sleep.
Check out Larry’s Facebook fan page here!
Professor Gilbert Cowznofski
The Professor is an annoying egghead scientist who works for “The Government”. He's always popping in to bamboozle Doc into solving whatever current problem is bothering his Government Masters (even though they usually caused the problem to begin with), and invariably cheating Doc out of his just compensation for the job. The Professor also occasionally hijacks Doc's show with his own little educational broadcast, “Professor Gilbert Cowznofski's Mysteries Of Science With Your Host Professor Gilbert Cowznofski”. We just call it 'Mysteries Of Science” because we're not idiots.
Check out the Professor’s Facebook fan page here!
Kandi the Candy Striper
Nobody is quite sure where Kandi came from. Most of Doc's patients aren't in any condition to request candy bars, magazines, or flowers (except the ones people put on their caskets), so there really isn't a need for a Candy Striper around the lab. She's here to stay, though. She's cute, but she's got an evil streak deep inside. She can out-scheme Doc, out-think the Professor, and out-lazy Larry. She's a triple threat.
Madam A. Vada Cadavre
The imposing Headmistress of Warthogs School of Witchcraft and Transmission Repair, Madam Cadavre is an ancient and accomplished witch who doesn't have time for Doc's shenanigans. Perpetually chasing down Nurse Lacee, trying to get her to commit to her studies, leaves Madam Cadavre with no patience for the Great Green One. Their battles have been legendary, filled with potions, flying spells, explosions, and high drama. These have all appeared off-screen, though, because the show doesn't have a budget. She gets some pretty good on-screen put-downs, however.
And she has a nice hat.
Check out Madam Cadavre’s Facebook fan page here!
Mailman Earl is the local postal worker (we think) who handles the route that serves the trailer park and Doc's lab. He's always happy to help, and can always tell you what's in the mail.
Literally. Like what's INSIDE the mail. He takes his job very seriously. And he takes the mail. Seriously.
Last, and certainly least, is Doc's manager, agent, and lawyer Bernie Shapiro. Bernie is a visionary, a forward-thinker, a dreamer. In other words, he makes crap up. Ostensibly devoted to making Doc a star, he actually seems most devoted to his 74.2% commission. We know this seems high, but this figure was negotiated during a meeting between Doc's manager, his agent, and his lawyer, so we're sure it's all legit.